the day after the rings

when you’re planning a wedding, there is so much talk about every detail of the day. we make inspiration boards, read magazines, books, and blogs, chat with friends, family members, and co-workers about each decision. but after you’ve picked your dress, your first dance song, hors d’oeuvres, readings, favors, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, your honeymoon destination, etc, that’s where it ends.  no one talks about what happens after the wedding. probably because it’s not that happy. so here’s how it went for me.

i woke up on the morning after my wedding overwhelmed with emotions.  of course, one of them was pure joy. another was love–for my husband, for my family, and for all the friends that came to show us love and support the day before.  another was shock–wow, did that really happen? that amazing day full of love and happiness that i looked forward to for years and thought about for a good portion of every day for 13 months, that happened? another was sadness–sadness that it was all over, sadness that all our friends and family were on their way. i thought that on the morning after our wedding, i wouldn’t want to see anyone.  that i would just want to sit in bliss with my husband.  but no, i wanted them all back with us. to talk about the wedding, to laugh, to extend the experience just a little bit longer. it was the best day of my life.  and it was behind me.

i spent most of the day crying.  tears came to my eyes as mike and i relived our favorite moments over coffee and bagels.  i was tearing up while texting my mom, and reading our cards.  and at other points i laid in our hotel bed and sobbed. part of this was pure exhaustion.  but it was also the release of all the emotions that had built up in the weeks and months leading up to our wedding.

the tears flowed into the first part of our honeymoon. i got emotional in the airport and in the van on the way to our hotel. as the week went on, the tears became less and less frequent.

but it didn’t end there.  over the next week or so, i’ll be writing about similar emotions i’ve experienced since my wedding: coming back to work after my honeymoon, responding to the questions “how was your wedding” and “how is married life,” and how i feel when i hear our first dance song.

50 have been chosen

after quite a while, we finally chose our 50 wedding pictures!

i’m not going to lie, i’m really sad that our wedding is over.  i can’t believe that more than 3 months after, i’m still so sad. sad that’s it’s just a memory now instead of my greatest dream.  i know that we have many many more dreams to dream together and it’s just the beginning but that was one that i held onto for so so long.  i wished for it, i prayed for it, i hoped for it every day for the past 8 years, and probably a little bit before that too.  i always wanted it to be him.

i guess now i continue to hope that we have a long happy love-filled life together. that’s one hope i’ll always have.

(photo credit: amanda kraft photography)

lovely wedding gift

we got the williams-sonoma bride & groom collection for our wedding. it was such a surprise since we hadn’t registered at williams-sonoma but it’s the perfect gift for us. i love the packaging, the classic box for the set, the clean lines, beautiful pictures and organized pages. 

we’ve made two recipes from it and they were both delicious.  i can’t wait to try more.  this weekend, perhaps?

what a lovely gift.  if you’re looking for a special wedding gift, i highly recommend this!

thank you, jordan!

as i was packing up things to go to the dry cleaner, i came across mike’s wedding suit. i noticed the jacket by the striped fabric on the inside of the sleeves. i picked it up like it was a childhood blanket, one that brings comfort and security and a twinge of sadness all at the same time. i smelled it, not knowing what smells would still be lingering, not sure what smells i even associate with our wedding day.  it didn’t smell like anything.  just a suit. and still, it brought tears to my eyes.  still is.

i can’t articulate why it’s calling up this emotion.  just nostalgia for the day i guess. i remember how confident he was trying on the suit just days before the wedding, how proud he was of his choice in attire, and how handsome he looked waiting for me at the end of the aisle. this suit takes me back to all of it.

sigh.

the suit.

(via amanda kraft)